Here I was again. In a book store, standing beside the table that I had fussed over – making sure that everything was in just the right place. I stood up tall, facing the less than spectacular crowd, and tried to ignore the feeling of doubt washing through me. Thoughts speared my brain. This is stupid. No one wants my book. What am I doing here?
We’ve all been there. Maybe you have done a book signing, maybe you haven’t. I am sure, however, that you have all had similar thoughts and feelings in some situation.
A book signing is honestly one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done. It is soul sucking. There you are, like some kind of jack-ass, telling people as they walk by that they need to buy your book. Yes, I am a local, self-published author that decided to write a book because I had this deep, burning desire within me to tell at story, and you now, some random stranger who was just going about your day, you need my book. It will change your life.
It is absolutely 100% a-okay to celebrate the S!$T out of something you did that you are very happy about.
And, as I am telling you this, I will admit that I just re-learned this lesson again a few days ago. I know – to truly celebrate you can be hard.
I worked for two years writing and producing my first novel. It is infused with things that I am passionate about. 80s heavy metal. Serial killers. Detectives and criminal profiling. And wilderness.
For an entire week leading up to the 80s Heavy Metal Party / Book Launch that I had planned, I was seeping self-doubt and dripping with a feeling that I was a self-indulgent m!#er f%&er. Yes. But – I have a tool box now for when I have these feelings. I rid myself of negative thoughts and replaced them with positive and exciting ones. And I worked on my energy – I tapped into that inner glow, that inner WHAM BAM that people see in me. I let it swell within in, a growing ball of powerful punch, until it was ready for the PARTAY! Thus, I put myself out there now to show you that it is totally OK for you to celebrate you!!!
When the launch day came, I eased into it. All my hard work and planning was done. Everything was in place. I let go. I allowed myself to truly enjoy and be in every moment. And guess what? I celebrated like an 80s rock star!!!
When you completely tap into your inner energy, your true being, things just flow. You know that feeling? No resistance. Just flow. Your energy is good. It vibrates in a warm, happy way that attracts other people.
The last couple of years have been a wild ride as I ventured down the path to writing my first novel, which turned out to be an 80s Heavy Metal Serial Killer Thriller. Yes. When I first starting writing it, characters and scenes materialized within me. And I doubted a lot of it. I thought it was just too weird. I wasn’t sure if I should write this book. It seems funny to recall those thoughts now. A lot has happened between then and now. I met a lot of really cool, interesting, supportive people. And guess what? They’ve made me realize that I am weird – and that’s just fine. The people that were already in my life also supported me every step of the way – both my writing and my weirdness.
So, on this particular day, in all my inner glam demon glory, my energy shone and I floated along my path of to-do items – all in the name of launching a Serial Killer Thriller infused with criminal profiling, ritualistic murder scenes, heavy metal, and everything 80s. Thus, it is fitting that the launch will be a spectacular 80s party. 80s clothes. 80s hair. 80s music. Glam. Rock. Metal. It will be a blast.
As I swirled along on the 80s vortex, my first stop took me to Melodiya Records. This place is COOL. You need to check it out! On the hunt for a couple of cassettes that I still have’t found…I found one of them.
I promised you a journey back to the time of 80s heavy rock, big hair and tight pants.
I promised you a murder case driven by re-enactments of a dark fantasy and ritual.
I promised to sweep you away to another time and another world.
It’s almost time to deliver the full package, the 80s Heavy Metal Infused Serial Killer Thriller, in it’s entirety.
To satisfy your desire, for the time being, here is a chilling snippet from the first murder scene. The scene in which Detective Mahoney is yanked from his morning sunny side ups onto a dark path. A path that would take him spiralling down to the vortex of underground heavy metal, death and doom.
In fact, I might be picking up boxes of my book – the first in a horrifying dark crime series, a day or two ahead of schedule. So, by tomorrow I might be loading down my Subaru and hauling these babies home. Yes. I am terrified but excited!
And that is exactly how I want you to feel when you read it!!
Remember a time when you had to walk across the street and knock on the door to talk to your friend?
Remember a time when you tied up the only phone line in your house all night, every night, until your parents got you a separate line?
Remember a time when you would pick up the telephone only to hear the crackling noise of the dial up Internet followed by your dad demanding to know who ruined his connection?
Remember a time when you laid in bed at night listening to the top ten at ten on AM radio?
Remember a time when finding the start of your favorite song required a series of skillful button pushes …. rewind, stop, play, stop, fast forward, stop, play, stop, rewind, stop, play, stop, rewind, stop, play…aaaaaah.
Why was this so good? C’mon…it’s Halloween!! Grab a handful of cheap, sugary candy from that pumpkin bucket and take a few minutes (well, 13 minutes and 42 seconds) to watch the full video (or shall I say mini-movie?). You can’t tell me you don’t want a creepy blast from the past…and a bit of sugar to put you in that Halloween spirit.
Now that you’re hopped on on sweet chocolate and caramel goo, why was (and still is…) Thriller so good?
Was it because of Michael’s sheer joy over seeing himself transform into a werewolf in front of the eyes of his sweet, pure girlfriend? I mean, c’mon, he’s clearly enjoying this! Or the incredible transformation, fur, nails, teeth and all? I mean, this was 1982.
Or was it the perfectly choreographed dance of the dead? These zombies had moves! And, of course, we were all in love with the way that Michael could slide across the dance floor…or the cemetery.
Or was it the fact that this video was 13 minutes and 42 seconds long? In a time when the video format was new, videos were short and full of glam, this one pushed the limits WAY beyond the boundaries. It was LONG. It was SCARY. It was completely different than any other video out there when it was released. Yet, it was a HIT! We all love it.
How about we sum it all up as a chilling, thrilling, mini-movie wrapped up in a video box? We all loved this tiny film. We all watched it over and over. And we also played that LP until it was scratched and jumpy.
Now get out there and scare those kids away so there is more candy for you!
I picked up the hard copy proof of my firstnovel today. Yes. After almost two years of hard work, I now hold this glorious, glossy piece of work in my hands. I’ll try not to stroke it too much, but I can’t promise anything.
I did try to make it perfect. For a while. Until one day my husband said to me, “You know you’re book won’t be perfect.” He knows me and my obsessive ways all too well. He was trying to save me from myself and my tendency to nit pick at something until I’m bleeding from the inside out.